RaNdOm ThOuGhTs

Just thoughts that I don't even know how to post because, well, it's not organized in my brain.

• Relationships. The more I stay single, the more I become afraid (more afraid?) of being committed. Why? I have no idea. It's just the idea of actually having a relationship terrifies me as I become more independent (and I'm very independent already). Why this sudden thoughts? Again, no idea. I just started thinking about it on my way to lunch.
• Career. I want to be a stewardess! Now where did this come from? This is actually an on and off thought - career choice - that I've had since I was I think 17 or 18 if I'm not mistaken. An acquaintance from my former school club became a flight attendant and I just started wondering what it would be like. But since the requirement was 21 yrs. old, I shrugged the idea and went on to take business management. All throughout college I thought of it sparodically but never seriously because I intended to finish college and when I turned 21 I was practically done with college so there really was no way I was going to drop out. The latter years of my college actually focused on getting a career in my chosen field, my major. After I moved back home I started browsing on what full-time job I should apply for. Then there was an open interview for flight attendants on July so I went. I had no idea it was THAT competitive to get into the position. Out of 20+ people in the room, only 2 were chosen. Obviously I wasn't chosen because I'm still ranting (or rather typing) about this (in not so coherent way) and juggling with a full-time job (I got my full-time job in August - under my major by the way) and a part-time job (the one I can't let go just yet - I've had this job for 3 years). But for some bizarre reason, I just can't stop thinking about being a stewardess/flight attendant (I don't know why the name change, I kinda like 'stewardess'). It was like when I got my tattoo. I wasn't really going to get it but the more I think of it, the more I want it. I went by myself one day when I had nothing else better to do and got it. Not right there and then, I had to make an appointment, they drew the tattoo for me, one night for the outline (3 hours), one night for shading (3 hours). Yes, 2 sessions - 6 hours total. Why so long? Because it's big. Anyhow, it was like that. The more I think of getting it, the more it sticks to me until I just can't shake it off and I just had to have it. Same think with the flight attendant-sudden-switch-of-career thing is. And what a way to really want something...on a season when they're not hiring! Well, if there's a will, there's a way. The only problem is that I have a bad sense of direction so it might take a little longer for me to find that way. In any case, I'll try.

Wow, this post is actually long. Well, I gotta get back to work.