Afraid to say it out loud

So I gave him away. Shrek is now enjoying the tank with Fiona at Y's house. I'll miss my turtle.

24th of March after my work, I went home and got dressed then I picked up Y. We were chatting while driving to our co-worker's bday at the "adult" arcade (they start ID-ing people at 10pm for below 21). So we were driving and laughing until C called us asking where we were. Lo and behold, I took the north instead of south. So we got lost and asked a cop for directions and we still got lost and long story short, we got there at almost 11:30pm. We left Y's house at 9:30. As if that wasn't bad enough, the line was quarter of a mile long to get in. It was cold and the line was barely moving because they weren't letting people in anymore until some people inside leave because of the max number of people that they can house at a time. We finally got in few minutes before midnight. Y and I didn't play games, we just ate and hang out with the others. And I finally met C's ex boyfriend. Then I became more confused because I had absolutely no idea what she saw in that guy. He was arrogant, loud, full of air, and down-right annoying. Everyone was really annoyed with him but no one would say anything out of respect for C. I mean, the guy was no gentleman at all. When I left my seat, he sat down and when I came back, he didn't even offer any of us girls a seat. Fine. But what irritated me the most was that C was the one who paid for his food, possibily even his drinks and games. Grr.

25th night we were going to a party but when we drove by it wasn't really cracking. So we decided to met upt with CaPa and then again, we got lost. About half-hour later we found our way and then we went bar-lounge hopping. No one was really feelin' it so we went home early. 1am was early for us, ok! Most of us were tired so no one was really trippin.

26th was the girls night out. We went salsa dancing. I didn't know how to salsa but I was trying to learn. There was also a hip-hop room, though remarkably small compared to the salsa dance floor. The place was really nice, with aquarium for saltwater creatures everywhere. I had fun.

27th was Easter Sunday. I attended church at 10am and then lunch after. I played touch-football (touch instead of tackle) with my friends before setting off to work at 2pm. I stayed home that night to rest.

On Monday, the 28th, I called my DM and found out that I didn't have an April interview. Bummer. So I started telling everyone that I was leaving the area as soon as I got my transfer near my parents' house. I would love to stay but my expenses can't hack it. My bills are piling up and my new car payment would start next month and my student loan payment would start June. So right when I got back, I looked for places where I can transfer and started calling people up. One manager told me to call another manager because he was looking for a shift supervisor. I went to the gym that night to release some tension and steam. I was pissed off so I figured that I 'll just be productive with it. I got there at almost 7pm. Worked on my cardio and abs for 30 minutes and then joined the kickboxing class at 7:30. I left at past 8pm.

Forward to the 29th, I called the manager I was referred to and I told him that I would be down there again next weekend. I'm meeting him on the 9th at 9:30am. I am most likely going to get transferred or he wouldn't have asked me to meet him. That was what happened when I transferred to my workplace right now. I was met by my former manager for formality. Last night we went out to dinner (with Th and Sy) after work. Good food, good friends. I'll miss them. I told them to come visit me anytime.

I worked earlier today until 2:30pm. I was going to hike but I got lazy. So I bummed out instead and watched Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen. It was an ok movie. A real teeny bopper movie. Tonight would be a girl's night out. Dinner with my girls and possibly watch Miss Congeniality 2.

Some people can picture themselves ahead of time and make it happen. Some people wishes for something and they get the exact opposite. I'm having a hard time seeing what's in it for me in the future because of the unpredictability of my environment...or maybe because I don't have a certain goal that I want to accomplish...which makes it hard to sense what's in store for me. I want to see the world but I don't know how to do it. I want to experience everything but I'm afraid to get hurt. I want to be in control but I'm gun shy. I want to dream but of what? I'm wanting something but I don't exactly what...or maybe I'm just afraid to say it out loud...