more than complete

Nobody wants to be lonely...
Nobody wants to feel empty...
Yet these feelings are constant companion...
For most...
Including me...
How could it be...
That chasing happiness...
Can make someone restless...
The thoughts that are incomplete...
Rely for somebody else...
To make them more than complete...

Didn't feel like home anymore

Well, I'll go backwards from more recent memories. I was supposed to see my friends on Thursday but they cancelled it so instead, I got a hair cut and stopped by at my former job. I spent time with my family for the most part. My younger brother got news a couple months ago that he was going to be sent in Iraq. We are all worried, especially my parents. He found out this month that he would go to training in May then be deployed in June. Hopefully he would be ok.

March was uneventful for me, with the exception of being called by my supervisor because I called-in-sick for four days and it was between my vacation and my days off. To get off the hook - I still had my sick-call-after-assignment record from June last year (it clears this coming June) and my mistrip from December - so I had to ask my friend to plagiarize a doctor's note for me. Well, I really did get sick but I didn't go to the doctor and I didn't know that I needed a note so...

I have a new obsession! I still watch Dancing With The Stars but I'm not as into it as I used to be. My new fanatic focus now is CSI Miami! I like all CSI (Vegas/NY/Miami/Navy) but Miami is by far my favorite. Anyway, my fanatic mechanism is kicking in so hopefully I don't go in frenzy and buy all DVDs at once because, well, I can't afford it. So I'll wait a little bit and see. Season 5 is almost over so there's more for me to do marathon on.

In February, I went back to my hometown for a two-week vacation. We only stayed in that town for a few days but it was weird being back there after all those years. I've been gone for almost 9 years and there were so many things that changed, and so many things that remained the same. I used to think that the house I grew up in was big and strong, a shelter that was both protective and comforting. Although the house was still familiar enough that I could walk around the house blindfolded, it didn't have the aura it used to have. Instead, I saw a house that was weak and neglected. An aged house deteriorating over time. My aunt and cousins live there now but I still believe that someday my grandparents' house will be resurrected again it will have the same brilliance and life that it used to have.

The town itself had been a surprise for me. The streets seemed narrower from when I was playing with my friends when I was growing up, although the roads were never reconstructed. My childhood bestfriend's house seemed closer from the time when I used to run to her house to play. The small, intimate town still have the familiar faces...but the strangers that moved in from different parts of the country flooded more so than acquaintances. I've always thought the my hometown and my grandparents' house would bring me the same joy and warmth that I used to feel when I was coming home from school, should I ever go back there. But to my saddened surprise, it didn't feel like home anymore...